The house of belonging

I awoke this morning

in the gold light

turning this way

and that

thinking for a moment

it was one

day

like any other

But

the veil had gone

from my

darkened heart

and

I thought

it must have been the quiet

candlelight

that filled my room,

it must have been

the first

easy rhythm

with which I breathed

myself to sleep,

it must have been

the prayer I said

speaking to the otherness

of he night,

And

I thought

this is the good day

you could

meet your love,

this is the black day

someone close

to you could die.

This is the day

you realize

how easily the thread

is broken

between this world

and the next

and I found myself

sitting up

in the quiet pathway

of light,

the tawny

closed grain cedar

burning round

me like fire

and all the angels of this housely

heaven ascending

through the first

roof of light

the sun has made

This is the bright home

in which I live

this is where

I ask

my friends to come

this is where I want

to love all the things

it has taken me so long

to learn to love

This is the temple

of my adult aloneness

AND I BELONG

to that aloneness

as I belong to my life.

There is no house

like the house of belonging.

-David Whyte

Choice

Been thinking, 1) I need to write more, I love to write... Frees my mind! Helps me to express what, at most times I have difficulty doing in spoken words. 2) Live and Enjoy the present... Be content and grow...

As Fall stumbles upon us, I am amazed at how quickly life seems to float on by... Although a full year of great memories has been created, I need to reiterate "FLOAT"... Where did it go... Did I take it all in? Did I pull from and take in all the I was meant to?

I sometimes live to much in the future trying to control how things might turn out, occur or come about. I often sit down at the end of the day, take a deep breath, and realize that indeed, that moment was the first time I STOPPED to breath, to accept, to reflect or to take in ...

I lack trust... trust in people, in the process of life, I find fear being a dictator in some choices that I make... then I look back and feel that I, indeed, did not make choices with clarity... but with an immutable thinking process that I, then in the moment I was blind to...

But today, I am full..

We all have times like this... sometimes to short or to few... Moments of grace, to often times these moments are missed or "FLOAT" by with fuzzy edges amidst the momentum of life...

Our life guarantees change..... how are we going to rise to the occasion of this incredible aspet of life? Embellish it, soak it up and ride the journey... TRUSTING, that it will take us to where we need to be, to grow how we need to grow, to see what we need to see, or Resist it.. thinking that maybe it is not RIGHT for us, a stream of invisible assumptions and needs!

Life guarantees change.... It also assures opportunity.... and choice... and freedom.

We make a handful of choices everyday, trivial choices, like weather to have cream in your coffee... and also loaded choices, like trusting and loving. Each choice draws out and twists into a direction, a trajectory with consequences.

I make choices based on 1) Love ~ being connected (which unfortunately, do to the many walls I create happens far to little 2) and Fear- disconnect (lately has been my M.O)

I think I will start choosing love...

And this moment is the best Journey

It has in fact been about a year!!! I will not even start to pretend that I am a good, dedicated consistent blogger. That I am NOT!

Summer has come and gone all to quickly.... Rain and muddy bike trails sadden me :( But I have had the greatest summer!

First off, I have a hot husband.... who works hard, and although I have a hard time not seeing him for a good portion of the summer, he sure looks good doing what he does!!!! I love this picture..

Before Lyle's fire season started, our good friend Jeff aka "Hollywood" took us to Napa Valley.... It was an amazing experience. He is a wine broker in Salt Lake, so of course he was treated Very WELL.. we all were! It was cool to see the process of wine and Champagne being made and the landscape there is absolutely breath taking.

Some Bocci Ball.... this was a serious competition!
SOOOO beautiful!

The summer started with a lot of road biking, Me and My friend Sara trained for a 180 mile relay from Snow Basin to Provo. The training was a blast, it was Sara's first bike event ever and she did so Awesome. We finished 4th in our Category (which was awesome considering we had NO expetations to place)

Lyle took a break mid fire season to go to Flaming Gorge with our Super Great friends Camie and Darren... We love these guys!!!

Four days of camping, boating, good food, good company and a few tears of FRUSTRATION.... but dont get me wrong.... I eventualy, finally, after like 40 tries, failures, getting my butt kicked by water learned to Solomon Ski...

I am too competitive at times... To Lyle this was no thing....

We also had a great boat day with the family at Deer Creek... Erin was hilarious on this tube, I was laughing way to hard....

although Kenny is not the slowest boat driver out there...

I got to watch little Amiah and Tayger for the weekend.... Love these kids... They make my soul so happy.... Although I am not ready to be a mom.... Too much work:)

The Summer comes to an end with a friends beautiful wedding at Sundance, the colors were beautiful....

a night out with with the ladies was much much needed! We had a blast!

Its a Wonderful Time

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. ~Norman Vincent Peale Happy Holidays To all my Friends and Family.

The Bus, That's Amazing

Drum Bus Anyone?

Ya, its really a bus, with drums, that drives around,

making music and cheer

and happy things

We loved it...

The Air is Crispy

I love the crispy air

looking to the mountains and watching them change

I think we live in the most beautiful amazing place!

waking up in the morning to the change of the season

frost on the grass

color of red and orange resinate through the whole valley

crunching leaves under my feet

the mountains breathe

leaves fall to the ground and bare branches show through

warm coffee in the morning never tasted better

nutmeg, cinnamon, apple, pumpkin

Fall hiking- for some reason the feeling is different! My soul feels lighter! I get happier!

October Fest

Fall Festivals and great reasons to get together as friends and families... To celebrate to laugh.

and saturday morning farmers market, where everyone is happy and musical and creative and wonderful!

Flannel sheets and down comforters

slippers, boots, leggins and scarves

harvest and prune

rake and plant bulbs

I am happy to live here, in this season..

Kokopelli=Amazing

So.... My computer crashed....

I was devastated... Lost all my music!

Put my broken down computer in the closet, out of sight out of mind!

Decided to get it fixed-

it's fixed!

Had and amazing trip

decided to blog it

So I am back to blogging- a little

I love getting ready for vacation... make lists, clean the house, pack up, tune the bike, and get ready for a break a nice getaway (I know to many a 150 mile bike trip seems like nothing of this sort) But to me, a good four days on my bike, in the desert, with good people and the love of my life is about all I need to make everything just perfect!

Kokopelli is a 150 mile mountain bike trail hidden with charms that lie between Fruita and Moab.

I was lucky to steel my Lyle away from the fires for a week and take him on this bike adventure.

With a variety of riding, from single track to slick rock and open road to hike-a-bike,

it was an adventure worth having... We split the ride into four days, each day enjoying a different view and place to lay our head. Some nights the sounds of the river soothed our tired minds, which was perfect after riding through the dead town of cisco where nothing bright stood standing, only lonely abonded homes and stripped down old gas stations.

Other nights Red rock towered over our camp

adding to the days amazing journeys through slick rock and single track trails... It doesn't get much better than this...

Although there were days, where we climbed and climbed and climbed. . Carried our bikes over boulders as I cussed in my head WHY AM I DOING THIS- BIKES ARE MENAT TO BE RIDDEN, not HIKED, sweat more than I thought I could... wrecked a little and got saddle sore a lot, It was all worth it...

Waking up for yoga in the morning, and a fire to warm up by

A good game of Bite the box

(if you haven't played this game you must) and with a little lemonchinni, you will have no problem getting right into it:)

Tough Women, and men too!

All in all, we were happy! Had no complaints, good company and amazing food!..... We all split nights up cooking and had plenty of great meals, and only one night to worry about cooking, or cleaning up.

It was the greatest getaway!

Unitl.....

Lyle wrecked, the last 30 feet of the trail, and yep! Tore is AC joint in his right shoulder! Poor Guy! I drag him out on this bike trip after 17 days of fighting fire, and this is what happens.... Dang it! Unfortunately it is a long healing process, and a painful one at that, but most likely he will not have to have surgery and will be back in full action in about 8 weeks.

He is amazing... and tough and sexy even with his nasty beard and handicapped arm... I think that he is neat, and now I get him home for a long time:)

Life is pretty great!

Don't you think